Homage To My Hips: Lucille Clifton

these hips are big hips.
they need space
to move around in.
they don't fit into little
petty places.
these hips
are free hips.
they don't like
to be held back.
these hips
have never been enslaved,
they go where they want to go
they do what they want to do.
these hips are mighty hips.
these hips are magic hips.
i have known them
to put a spell on a man
and spin him like a top

First of all, YEAH!

As part of my New Year's Resolution, I'm trying an experiment. Every morning, before or after my shower, I'm going to look in the mirror and say, "Wow. What a fantastic figure. What a beautiful body. Check me out!!" Regardless of how I'm actually feeling. Let's see what happens.

This whole body-image craziness that our modern society inflicts upon everyone is interesting. I was looking at magazine covers this weekend, at the grocery store. On one: pictures of how Mary-Kate, Kiera, etc. are too thin. Is it anorexia? Do they actually eat? We must save the skinny women from themselves! And then, on the next, the very next magazine over, it says, "Jessica Simpson puffs up: Gains 27 pounds!"

How do they know she gained 27 pounds?

Incidentally, on the next magazine over from that one, it says, "How Jessica got thin for her new man!"

Was this before or after the 27-pound gain?

Crazy-making. I've been thinking a lot about this. All that energy spent on worrying over 5 or 10 (or 27) pounds. There's being concerned about weight for legitimate reasons (health, etc.). And then there's this crazymaking stuff. I heard on Oprah (or somewhere) that daughters will inherit their mother's wounds. So I'm trying very hard to heal myself on this particular issue so that my daughter (or son) will maybe have a better chance at being free from this particular baggage. Or at least have some perspective.

I'd like to get back into running, because it feels good and I feel so happy and proud of myself when I run. I'd like to do weight training to build my strength, my bones.

And, it feels great to look in the mirror and like what you see. Of course.

But I will not say mean things to myself about my body. That's my promise to myself, this year. If I miss a few workouts (or keep putting off starting), I'll be kind to myself. I'll eat what I want, when I'm hungry. I'll cook healthy things for myself and Terri. I will love my hips and how they move, how they show off my curves, how they support me and my life. Those stretch marks? Battle scars, baby. I'm living my life.

I will be grateful to have such a fantastic, healthy body. I will not be at war with myself over it.

Change yourself and change the world. I'm not buying this crap any more.