A Dream Of Trees: Mary Oliver

There is a thing in me that dreamed of trees,
A quiet house, some green and modest acres
A little way from every troubling town,
A little way from factories, schools, laments.
I would have time, I thought, and time to spare,
With only streams and birds for company.
To build out of my life a few wild stanzas.
And then it came to me, that so was death,
A little way away from everywhere.
There is a thing in me still dreams of trees,
But let it go. Homesick for moderation,
Half the world’s artists shrink or fall away.
If any find solution, let him tell it.
Meanwhile I bend my heart toward lamentation
Where, as the times implore our true involvement,
The blades of every crisis point the way.
I would it were not so, but so it is.
Who ever made music of a mild day?

Obviously there are a lot of ways you could read this poem, but tonight I'm reading it as saying that to wish for the perfect, quiet solution -- away from everything -- is to completely miss out on life. Who ever made music of a mild day? Stuff happens. Life is messy, messy, messy. I've had the experience lately of friends telling me, in different ways, that they are looking for the right way to: have a relationship, have friendships, have a career, be themselves, be someone. I'm guilty of this myself, as we all are. But I think it's interesting what's being reflected back at me, sometimes. Interesting connections are happening.

Life is messy. Love the mess! Love the arguments, and spilled cat food, and things that didn't work out as planned. Stop trying so hard. Stop trying to be something that I'm not (perfect, always agreeable, got it under control). What's so interesting about that? Not much.

Life is messy. I read an article recently on wabi-sabi, something I'm getting more interested in. The beauty of impermanence, of imperfection. Something is beautiful because it's not perfect.

I wish that were easier to remember, but again, life is messy. The learning is the thing. Being in the mess, rather than away from it. Celebrate the mess.